Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Rodney Dangerfield quotes, Rodney Dangerfield sayings, and Rodney Dangerfield proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
I tell ya, my wife was never nice to me. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek, she bent over!Rodney Dangerfield
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.Rodney Dangerfield
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My uncle's dying wish he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.Rodney Dangerfield
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.Rodney Dangerfield
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.Rodney Dangerfield
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I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.Rodney Dangerfield
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I drink too much. The last time I give a urine sample, it has an olive in it.Rodney Dangerfield
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If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.Rodney Dangerfield
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.Rodney Dangerfield
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My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, ‘If you don’t mind I’d like a second opinion.’ He said, ‘All right… you’re ugly too!’Rodney Dangerfield
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I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.Rodney Dangerfield
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.Rodney Dangerfield
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In the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, and he threw the teacher out of the window.Rodney Dangerfield
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.Rodney Dangerfield
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I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.Rodney Dangerfield