Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. Mark Twain
It is your human environment that makes climate. Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge. Mark Twain
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. Mark Twain
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. Mark Twain
The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe. Mark Twain
Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us. Mark Twain
A healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any occupation. Mark Twain
The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it Mark Twain
The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card. Mark Twain
Tough times teach trust. Mark Twain
Only when a republic's life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is wrong. There is no other time. Mark Twain
A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied. Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. Mark Twain
A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public. Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. Mark Twain
Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast. Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself; it is still nobler to teach others. Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Mark Twain
I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse. Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. Mark Twain
Obscurity and competence—that is the life that is best worth living. Mark Twain