Mark Twain Quotes and Sayings

Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain

Life is short, break the rules... and never regret anything that made you smile. Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right. Mark Twain

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. Mark Twain

Hawaii, the loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean. Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. Mark Twain

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you're stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain

Bee scientists always speak of the bee as she. It is because all the important bees are of thet sex. Mark Twain

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it. Mark Twain

A man with a hump backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross eyed aunt. Mark Twain

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. Mark Twain

But up to seven I lived exclusively on allopathic medicines. Not that I needed them, for I don't think I did; It was for economy; my father took a drug store for a debt and it made cod-liver cheaper than the other breakfast foods. Mark Twain

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain

When red headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Mark Twain

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next. Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain

When red headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. Mark Twain

The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might. Mark Twain

God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Mark Twain