Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty one, I was astonished at how much he has learned in seven years. Mark Twain
I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. Mark Twain
It is good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. Mark Twain
There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage. Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and lie is that a cat has only nine lives. Mark Twain
You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught. Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very things. Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Adam was but human— this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden. Mark Twain
At this supremely dangerous moment in human history, the only way of salvation is the ancient Hindu way. Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it. Mark Twain
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. Mark Twain
No woman can look as well out of fashion as in it. Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain
There are women who have an indefinable charm in their faces which makes them beautiful to their intimates, but a cold stranger who tried to reason the matter out and find this beauty would fail. Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind it, it doesn't matter. Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain
Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain't got no business doing wrong when he ain't ignorant and knows better. Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. Mark Twain